Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Fuck appropriateness.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize