I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
