I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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