DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
