is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
