love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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