Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
