elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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