chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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