Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You ate ashes out of my bong
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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