alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
