Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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