Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
