Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
