So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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