508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
we made out on top of his cat.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i dont even know how to be here
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
