How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
