we're blogging at a bar
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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