What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
These tits shall not be calmed
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
