i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
