Someone shit on the floor
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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