The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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