I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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