Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
