Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
