Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
