Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
