if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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