for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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