Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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