whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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