I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
