Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
