I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
