Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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