Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
