i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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