I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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