I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
