If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
