Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
