the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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