I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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