It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
