walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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