I cockslap morals
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
