that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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