Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
