Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
