i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
