Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
