with your own penis?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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