we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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