Need sex. Gaining weight.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
