I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
