i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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