if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Vodka?
Forever.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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