I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
