I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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