Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
