oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
