im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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