'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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