either way he was missing a nipple.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
