She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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