i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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