We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
