i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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