A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
