she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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