i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
