Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize