i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
