So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
