broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Enjoy the penises
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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