And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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